Old Habits Die Hard.
It all started when I was a young boy; I would always see my
grandfather puffing away at his pipe, the smell always seemed to captivate
my nostrils while the visions of dancing smoke stole my attention. From what
I remember of him he was a fantastic man, but what I remember most was that
pipe and the Black Cavendish that slowly burned in it. Naturally, being that
this was a fond memory, the day I reached the ripe age of 18 I found myself
in a drug warehouse buying a Dr. Grabow pipe and a 12 oz. bag of the
cheapest Cavendish in the store.
This introduced me to a world of social smoking possibilities and
extreme relaxation; but I found myself smoking more and more until the pipe
just wasn’t enough. My journey into the world of tobacco of course led me to
cigars, which was short lived, to experimenting and trying every cigarette
on the market from cloves to cherry flavored. I had even got to the point of
rolling my own cigarettes and adding my own mint to them; however, I never
stopped to realize how bad it actually had gotten. When I finally did, I
realized it was too late. I got so caught up in the head rush that I lost
track of me.
It was May 13, 2007; Mother’s Day. My dear mother, a nurse with a kind
heart, had only one request for me to fulfill for her; that I cease my
tobacco addiction. Of course, being a delusional addict, I obliged thinking
it would be an easy task. For 3 days I hadn’t had one cigarette, when I was
overcome with a craving that seemed insatiable. I’m only human; so instead
of resisting, I immediately drove to the store, bought a pack of cigarettes,
and lit up as soon as I passed through the entrance doors. I realized I had
no control over myself anymore.
Two years later I still find myself struggling to finally complete that
request. Maybe this year I will be able to get it right, I will soon be
switching over to the electronic cigarette in hopes of weening myself off of
my addiction. Hopefully this Mother’s Day I can deliver the gift she wanted
two years earlier. Maybe this year I can start becoming who I was before
lighting up became my vice, an honest son.